What is the Best Way to Give Birth?

I’m hoping you read the title and thought, “That’s a ridiculous question.” Or perhaps it was closer to, “Is there a “best” way to give birth?” Maybe your answer immediately drifted to either vaginal or c-section. Still yet, maybe some of you took it a bit further and thought “natural is definitely the way to go” while the rest thought, “hell no, give me the epidural now.” Whatever your answer was or your belief is, I apologize if mine doesn’t line up, but I’d like to think I’m done apologizing for how I birth my children. And that way, the “best” way for me and my kids, is through a cesarean delivery.  

The birth of my first child was traumatizing for myself, my husband, and our baby boy. In the end, I had to have an emergency c-section, and my son made his debut into this world not breathing, with an APGAR score of four, and quickly whisked off to the NICU. There are much more devastating and horrific birth stories out there than my son’s, but in the scheme of life, that is what my husband and I have as reference as we await our second child. 

From the very beginning of this second pregnancy (just for reference, I’m now 33 weeks along), the doctors and midwives at the clinic I go to asked me whether I planned on doing a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) or if I planned on scheduling a c-section. It took my husband and I up until my 30th week to make the decision to schedule a c-section for our daughter’s birth. Even writing this, I’m scared. Scared of the finality of that decision and scared of the reaction of others. But you know what I’m not scared of – the process. And that tells me the thoughts and opinions of others are weighing more heavily on my decision than my own comfort levels. That is not okay.

There are many reasons to schedule a c-section; I won’t go into the personal reasons we decided to because that isn’t what matters with this post. What matters is the need to voice my decision and accept it because that’s what I decided would be best for my child. The shaming on one vs. the other, the argument of the “best” way to give birth, those need to end. Motherhood is hard. It. Is. Damn. Hard. Pregnancy is an amazing experience that puts new and different strains on your body. Delivery is an emotional, excruciating experience that puts you through a strenuous process that you could never fathom surviving in any other circumstance. Parenthood is a beautiful journey that has you laughing, crying, depressed, sleep-deprived, protective, nurturing, and every other single emotion wrapped into this one experience. There are enough hardships and pressures put upon parents without the need of added prejudice from other mothers. 

Each experience is unique. Obviously, an expecting mother should discuss with their doctor or care provider how they plan/hope for their child to be delivered. There are reasons for a vaginal delivery, which is the most common route and the one many mothers can safely and successfully take. Then there are reasons for a baby to be delivered cesarean, whether it be an emergency c-section or a scheduled one. It is for the professionals and the parents to decide which is “best” for your child and yourself. It is not for us to push our opinions, prejudices, and experiences on each other. If intentions are good, sharing birth stories can be extremely liberating. If intentions are to intimidate or scare, sharing birth stories can be traumatizing and disillusioning. 

Childbirth is an amazing experience that I would never give up. Though it is painful and sometimes things don’t go as planned, the fact that women are given the blessing of birthing a child makes me feel a bit awestruck. Parents can learn so much from each other, and not only learn, but also gain support, love, understanding, and encouragement from fellow mothers and fathers. Let’s raise each other up in our parenting journeys. We would love to hear about your birth stories. Were you able to give birth to your children naturally, or did they arrive via c-section? Perhaps you became a mother through in vitro fertilization, adoption, or marriage. Share your experiences with us. Connect with us on Instagram @MapsCookingKids or on Twitter @MapsCookingKids. Until next time, Agape, be kind, and happy parenting!