It Takes a Village: How Mom Groups and Blogs Help

I moved to a whole new country last year. You wouldn’t believe the amount of work and strength it takes. We managed to get everything settled pretty fast (we were preparing for the whole process for months in advance), and everyone seemed to adapt quickly. Nevertheless, there was something that I was carrying heavily in my heart. The moving represented a lot of exciting and positive changes, but it also meant saying goodbye to my entire support network. It meant no family around, no grandma to help babysit, no best friend forever to hang out with for a quick coffee, no noisy neighbor to say hi to and disconnect even for a couple of minutes.  I was going to start facing motherhood by myself, and that freaked me out a little.

I’m pretty sure that at some point in your life, you’ve heard the African saying: “It takes a village to raise a child.” It means that kids and their parents need support and interaction from others to survive. It doesn’t suggest that the whole village will be involved and will be responsible for said kid. It highlights the fact that we as human beings need contact and that others’ experiences can nurture our own experiences, and by engaging in these connections, we all grow together.

Being a parent can be overwhelming. You jump from worrying about everyday life chores to being the person solely responsible for a kid’s well-being, health, emotions, sanity, empathy, nutrition, and entertainment. It’s a lot, and because the standard rule is that you should always “wash your dirty clothes inside your house,” parenthood can be a lonely place, even if you have everyone you know thousands of miles away or maybe just super-busy working away. What can you do to not feel smothered under this massive list of responsibilities? How can you close the gap between you and society that parenthood typically creates? 

Introducing “mom groups”

If you have found within yourself the ability to entertain your kiddos for a couple of minutes, skip your daily chores, separate some time for you and your phone after a long day of work, then you’ve had enough time to scroll down around Facebook. I’m pretty sure you have seen those mom groups. Because of my moving, not only was I miles away from everyone I knew, but our schedules never matched because of the change in time zones. I felt at a loss, but decided to open myself to new experiences and joined a couple of them. The first one had an engaging title: “Coffee and Motherhood.” I loved both, so what’s there to lose? It was so good that it snowballed, and within a week I was joining other groups.

I went from feeling isolated to running into hundreds of women who felt like me, who laughed at the same things, who had dreams just like I did, and who wanted to share and receive support. We were all living our lives while facing different struggles. Now, I am not at all disregarding human contact, but we cannot deny that today’s connectivity helps us relate to total strangers. Even though in our public profiles, we tend to only share “our successes,” I’ve found that it’s in these groups where we embrace our and others’ vulnerability. There’s a sense of sisterhood that is uplifting and very positive.

There are all types of things going on ranging from recipe swapping to a “safe” place to vent, to a word of encouragement from a lot of women going through the same things (or relating to what you’re going through); to books, movies and new series recommendations, and you can also join groups for entrepreneur women rooting for others and sharing their wisdom. There’s a group for anything you can think of. You will probably find drama, misunderstanding, and the complete and dense dissection of someone else’s conversation. But, most of these groups have firm rules that forbid politics, religion, and mom-shaming comments to ensure a safe environment.

Above everything, I have found these groups and the humans in them to be lifesavers. Parenthood can be a lonely place, but in these “mom groups” I found my village!

Have you participated in an online mom group? If yes, what were your positive or negative experiences with these groups? What are some other types of online mom groups not mentioned in this article that might be helpful to others? Please connect with us on Instagram @MapsCookingKids or on Twitter @MapsCookingKids. Until next time, agape, be kind, and happy parenting.

Valeria Ayerdi-Seibel, recovering restaurant owner and mother of three. Turned around a distressed restaurant, sold it for profit, and now looking into next challenges while writing and designing beautiful things.